


The Ice Man Cometh

by RiddleRose



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Gen, I'm so sorry, and whiskey is such a forgiving mistress, but she forgives his little weaknesses, i'm not sorry at all, moonwalking, mycroft is in a monogamous relationship with his umbrella
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-16
Updated: 2013-11-16
Packaged: 2018-01-01 16:55:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1046262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiddleRose/pseuds/RiddleRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mycroft gets drunk.  Sherlock is traumatized.  John is confused and worried and wants to be somewhere else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ice Man Cometh

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zemph147](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zemph147/gifts).



By the time Sherlock was ten he had learned to avoid Mycroft when he was drunk. Mycroft only drank when something went wrong. Mycroft didn’t allow things to go wrong very often, so Mycroft was not drunk very often, but when he was Sherlock went to extraordinary lengths to get out of his way. He wasn’t sure if Mummy and Father didn’t notice or just didn’t care, but they never made any effort to curb Mycroft's habits. They were proud of their overachieving eldest son, and steadfastly ignored anything negative about him.

Sherlock hadn’t had to deal with drunk Mycroft in years. First there had been Uni, then the drugs, then his own flat at 221B, with his skull and his violin. Then there was John, and Mycroft reappeared abruptly in his life. He didn’t have to worry though, because John made everything easier and better, and Mycroft understood that. Mycroft, unfortunately, was at least as clever as Sherlock, possibly cleverer, and he respected John. 

When the Woman fooled Sherlock into destroying Mycroft’s grand plan with the airplane, (and that still stung, that she had well and truly fooled him, not even Moriarty had ever managed that) Sherlock knew what was coming. When Mycroft summoned him to his ridiculous flat instead of his office, Sherlock brought John along in the hopes that he would provide a buffer. He didn’t even consider not answering the summons – if Mycroft wanted to make him suffer then he would, either now or later. Might as well get it over with.

They arrived at Mycroft’s flat early, because Sherlock wanted to break in and sneak around for a bit before Mycroft got home. John just shook his head and went along with it. Sherlock spared a moment to feel fond, then pulled him through a rhododendron and in the pantry window. 

He realized his mistake already. Damn Mycroft and his damn network of CCTV, he had obviously known they were coming, and had deduced that Sherlock would enter by the pantry. There was an empty space just the right size for a whiskey decanter just beside the mountain of packaged doughnuts. Damn Mycroft and his penchant for shots.

Irritably Sherlock yanked the pantry door open. “Come on John, he knows we’re here.”

“Right,” said John, raising his eyebrows, “how… never mind.”

“Whiskey, John. Always the whiskey.”

The music started. Sherlock winced. He should have brought earplugs. John cocked his head to the side, “Queen? I wouldn’t have pegged your brother for a classic rock fan.”

“He’s not,” snapped Sherlock, nearly unhinging the ballroom door.

“Then why…” the question died a miserable death at the back of John’s throat as Mycroft, clutching a shot glass and a whiskey decanter, moonwalked into the ballroom from a side door just as Vanilla Ice husked out, _Ice, ice baby_ …

John choked and clutched Sherlock’s arm, “Sherlock. Why is the British government so good at the moonwalk?”

**Author's Note:**

> You know that moment when you think it's going to be _Under Pressure_ and then it's actually _Ice Ice Baby_?
> 
> So does Sherlock.
> 
> And Vanilla Ice laughs while the world burns.


End file.
